I will be right with you... in two Spongebobs.

My three and five year old currently lack the ability to tell time. They both know their numbers well but I just haven't spent the time needed to teach them how to read a clock yet. That being said, the Ewer household has developed its own way of measuring minutes and hours... in Spongebob episodes. While I am not one to let my children sit in front of the television for hours, they do enjoy some daily t.v. time. When they do watch the television, they ration their time to watching during the hours when Spongebob Squarepants is on. They LOVE that show. Why???? I don't know. It's a sponge in pants. But that is a topic for an entirely different blog. Regardless of the show quality itself, they have come to an approximate knowledge of the length of these shows. Now when they ask how long until lunch, dinner, bedtime, etc., the answer can be given in the number of Spongebob episodes. Example: Today the kids asked how long it would be until lunch. I knew it would be in one hour and so I stated, " In four Spongebobs", to which Emma replied, "That will be forever"!!!!
Devastatingly long???-Yes.
Did they understand that it would be a long time???-Yes.
Mission accomplished.
Now I would never assume that this is a new technique that is used only in the Ewer home. I am quite sure that there are many other households that tell time in annoying cartoon episodes. I am also sure that this has probably been occurring for years. I can picture the conversations that probably took place between my father and my grandmother.

My Dad: " Mom, how long until lunch"?
My Grandma: "As soon as Lassie saves Timmy from the well two times".
(Today Timmy would be under the watchful eye of Child Protective Services).

While it may not be a perfect method of time-telling, it has worked for us. So please feel free to use this method with your own children or any child who does not understand how to use a clock.

WARNING:
While this has proven to be an effective way of time telling for the generations since television's creation, I would not recommend taking it into the professional world. The other day I was tempted to tell my patient that they could have more pain medicine in three Spongebobs. Maybe it would be better if I modified it and gave the time in E.R. episodes... or maybe not.