I will be right with you... in two Spongebobs.

My three and five year old currently lack the ability to tell time. They both know their numbers well but I just haven't spent the time needed to teach them how to read a clock yet. That being said, the Ewer household has developed its own way of measuring minutes and hours... in Spongebob episodes. While I am not one to let my children sit in front of the television for hours, they do enjoy some daily t.v. time. When they do watch the television, they ration their time to watching during the hours when Spongebob Squarepants is on. They LOVE that show. Why???? I don't know. It's a sponge in pants. But that is a topic for an entirely different blog. Regardless of the show quality itself, they have come to an approximate knowledge of the length of these shows. Now when they ask how long until lunch, dinner, bedtime, etc., the answer can be given in the number of Spongebob episodes. Example: Today the kids asked how long it would be until lunch. I knew it would be in one hour and so I stated, " In four Spongebobs", to which Emma replied, "That will be forever"!!!!
Devastatingly long???-Yes.
Did they understand that it would be a long time???-Yes.
Mission accomplished.
Now I would never assume that this is a new technique that is used only in the Ewer home. I am quite sure that there are many other households that tell time in annoying cartoon episodes. I am also sure that this has probably been occurring for years. I can picture the conversations that probably took place between my father and my grandmother.

My Dad: " Mom, how long until lunch"?
My Grandma: "As soon as Lassie saves Timmy from the well two times".
(Today Timmy would be under the watchful eye of Child Protective Services).

While it may not be a perfect method of time-telling, it has worked for us. So please feel free to use this method with your own children or any child who does not understand how to use a clock.

WARNING:
While this has proven to be an effective way of time telling for the generations since television's creation, I would not recommend taking it into the professional world. The other day I was tempted to tell my patient that they could have more pain medicine in three Spongebobs. Maybe it would be better if I modified it and gave the time in E.R. episodes... or maybe not.

Knock and the door will be opened to you...

Today in the car Caleb piped up with a question. "Mommy, is the sun God's door?" Now I cannot say that I have ever heard this question but I guess it seems logical. " God's door?", I asked.

Feeling like I should tell the truth while also realizing that I was talking to a three year old I simply stated " No honey, the sun is not God's door." I smiled as I watched his little mind silently try to contemplate this. I listened to him then discuss this with his sister in the back seat. "Emma ", he stated, "we should build God a door so he can get into his house." "We could use a really big truck to get up there ,( the sky), or we could stand on top of each other. We could even use the clouds!" ( My children still think that they could sit and ride on clouds if they could just get up there somehow. They once mentioned climbing a tall tree and then using a cell phone to call me when they were ready to come down). Just as they were getting into the details of how to build a door for God we arrived at our destination... all too soon. The conversation was just getting interesting. These are what I call the " payback" moments with our children. The times we enjoy that allow us to forget about the knock-down drag-out fight we just had about who gets to push the button to close the van door. I love these moments and try to soak them up when they come. Maybe tomorrow I will inquire for God about a doorbell.